Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
