He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
