As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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