if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
love makes seman taste better
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
