i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
