This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
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