it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
