i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
