But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
