so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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