no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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