I showed him my bush... on skype.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
