If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
