he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
