I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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