OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
