At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
