i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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