this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
