i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
