I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
