When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
