we have officially lost it.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize
