on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Randomize
