I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
They have beer where we have blood.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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