remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
