I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
