Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
