She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
