How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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