Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
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