We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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