Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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