yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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