im drinking this country out of the recession.
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
You left your phone here
Wait...
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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