so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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