The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Randomize
