i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
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