my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
