Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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