Already got asked if we're dating
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
