explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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