i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Randomize
