I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
