Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
