So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Randomize
