We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
