thus making me awesome and them whores
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
