he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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