Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Randomize
