Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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