david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
And then he peed in my hair
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