I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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