Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
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