So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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