We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
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