found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
