Your mouth is God's brothel.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
