why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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