I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
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