Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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